If You're Coming From Another Hudson Valley Church...

An issue of special concern to The River Church are "transfers"--that is, people coming into our congregation after leaving another nearby congregation. That's because transfers often carry a lot of complex issues with them, mainly elements of their previous church (or churches) and the reasons they left. If you've left another church in the area, or are thinking of leaving, it's probably for one of three general reasons, or some combination of the three:



1)You're unfulfilled by your church. You feel bored, anxious, or disconnected.

2)You've been offended by something someone said or did in church.

3)You disagree theologically or morally with an aspect of the church.

Let's take a look at each of these in more depth.

1) You're unfulfilled

This could be because you feel like you should be doing more as part of the church, but haven't been able to 'break in' and make an impact. It could be because you're unsure where your church is going, or because it doesn't seem to be really going anywhere or doing anything. Or it could be because the church just doesn't seem to fit you very well; your age, personality, tastes, or point of view. If you're thinking about leaving for one of these reasons, there's one important thing you should remember: The church you're thinking about leaving isn't all about you...and The River Church isn't either.

It's possible that your church really is in a rut--it's ceased to be effective or relevant. But do you know for certain that you've done everything possible to help it, instead of just giving up on it? Have you prayed for guidance or consulted Scripture on the matter? While it is sometimes necessary to abandon an atmosphere that is totally stifling and spiritually atrophied, it's not a decision to be made lightly. In any environment, The River Church included, "doing something" requires initiative, commitment, and effort. The River Church makes a point of empowering people to pursue the things God has called them to do, but no one else is ultimately going to do it for you.

It's also possible that you're bored of the music, bored of the sermons, or bored of the people in your church. If that's the case, the problem isn't the church. It's you. If you come into a church looking for music that excites you, sermons that reach out and grab you, and people that are completely open and accepting, you may not realize it, but what you're saying is: "I'm God. I'm coming to my church and seeing how well they're going to serve me."
Now, don't get us wrong--you may come here and find one or possibly more than one of the things you're looking for...but it's not actually going to do you any good. As long as you come to church looking to be served rather than to serve, you'll eventually become bored, disillusioned, or frustrated.

2) You've been offended

This is one of the most common reasons people leave churches and move to other ones: A member of the church or, most often, someone in leadership, said or did something that offended you. Possibly they sinned against you and hurt your feelings, or possibly they called you on what they claimed was a sin on your part. The River Church has a relatively simple response to this:

Get over it. Please.

Look, if you read the Bible at all, you know that we're supposed to live together in harmony, asking for forgiveness and forgiving others. It may be hard to actually do, but as a principle, it's not rocket science. Get together with the person or people who offended you, talk, pray, and work it out. And for the love of God, don't leave angry and drag yourself to The River Church with an open wound dripping behind you. It's between you, that person, and God. We can't fix it for you. In fact, if you do transfer to The River Church for this sort of reason, our response will probably be to attempt to send you back, so that you can allow God to bring healing and reconciliation to the situation.

Please understand that we say this in love; we're not trying to downplay what you're feeling. But Jesus says, "In this life there will be trouble." You will be offended. If you've been offended at your current church, then it's only a matter of time until you'll be offended at The River Church. If you have a history of running for it while you're wounded, you're basically a ticking time bomb, just waiting to be set off. When that happens, you're going to damage yourself more and damage a portion of our church in the process. Guard your heart; be wise, learn the principles of forgiveness.

3) You have a moral or theological disagreement

This is often an issue to be taken seriously, but it all depends on one thing: Biblically, how important is the disagreement? But let's start by breaking this up into two areas.

Moral disputes can often be the more serious of the two. It's possible that someone did a great evil inside the church (possibly even to you) and hasn't been called on it or disciplined. It's true that Scripture tells us not to tolerate blatant, unrepentant sin inside the church. (Matthew 18:15-17, 1 Corinthians 5.) If there is a lot of sin within the church that isn't being addressed or dealt with, it can be legitimate grounds for leaving. On the other hand, we're called to forgive everyone in our hearts (Matthew 18:21-35) and if the church has acknowledged the problem and is dealing with it, you could be holding onto an offense improperly.

In the same vein, you could have been the one accused of sin. If this is the case, examine Scripture and see for yourself what it says. If a church has disciplined you for unrepentant sin, and the discipline was correct, The River Church might well come to the same conclusion in the future. Ask yourself this question: Is there some aspect of your life that you feel you need to hide from the church? If so...why?

Theological disputes are also potentially valid and potentially not. As with everything else, Scripture is the ultimate key here. Ask yourself: Is your dispute with the church or members of the church extremely important to the meaning and application of Christianity? Is the argument more a doctrinal one or a personal one?

Some issues are valid and may be of great personal concern, but ultimately they don't make that big a difference when it comes to salvation and godliness. For example: Creation. Some people say God created everything in six literal days, while others say that a 'day' is figurative. In 1 Corinthians, Paul says that women should cover their heads in church. Some still hold to that literally, while others maintain that it was cultural or metaphorical. In the end, though, do either of these issues determine a person's eternal salvation?

On the other hand, your church might have actually abandoned or ignored Scripture on serious issues, such as the death and resurrection of Christ, homosexuality, or the nature of salvation. If in your studies of the Bible you've found serious conflicts between Scripture and the workings of your church, talk to the leaders and see what they have to say. There might be something legitimately wrong.



Conclusion: If you're planning on leaving your church, then for your sake and your family's, please be very sure that God is directing you somewhere else. Have you prayed about the decision? Has God spoken to you through his Word and by other means in a confirming way? If not, you might well be choosing your will over God's...which is never a good idea. We can't stress enough that this is a very weighty decision that needs to be taken seriously. It requires objectivity, so that you know that your choices are based on God's will, not your own emotions or sensibilities.

This concludes our page concerning transfers between other churches and TRC. If you have questions, please contact Pastor Marlow so that they can be addressed personally.